Do I Regret My Choice?
by Doc Professor
Summary: Shanks describes his feelings towards the day he lost his arm, and the day he saved Luffy's life. One Piece One Shot. T for minor language


Shank's Lament

Written by: Smerph Greenfox

Disclaimer: One Piece and all characters are property of Eiichiro Oda

Do I regret what I did? No, not at all.

Do I ever think about what could've happened? What other options I could have taken?

Every day of my life.

That day, that moment, I play it through my mind every day. It's the same story every time, the same sea monster, the same boat, the same mountain bandit.

The same scared little boy who can't swim.

I can still see poor Luffy's face. He was terrified. Back then, I couldn't tell what he was more afraid of, the mountain bandit, the sea monster, the threat of drowning or the fact that I had a bloody stump where my left arm was supposed to be.

Now that I think about it, it was probably the arm.

Some people ask me if it hurt. Of course it did. My arm was bitten off. I'm not superhuman. I'm not an invincible warrior like Hawkeye Mihawk or Roronoa Zoro. I'm just an ordinary pirate captain. Of course it hurt. But I couldn't let Luffy see me in pain. It would devastate him more than anything else, to see his hero cry. I kept reassuring him, it's only an arm, the important thing is that you're safe, I thought you were brave. All the while, resisting the urge to scream like I had never screamed before.

Some people tell me he wasn't worth it. Just another pipsqueak who opened his mouth at the wrong time and needed to pay the price. What kind of pirate do I call myself if I risk life and limb just to save some punk kid? They tell me I'm supposed to be a criminal, a dangerous man. I'm supposed to terrorize village after village without a care as to who I hurt or kill. They tell me that if they were in my shoes, they'd let that ingrate drown.

I hope those people get their asses kicked some day. They deserve it.

Do I hate Luffy for what happened? Do I hate him because he's indirectly responsible for me losing my arm?

Are you kidding? You can't stay mad at the kid for more than ten seconds before you're laughing about it. If anything I feel sorry for him. Sorry that he had to witness that day. Sorry I wasn't there sooner. Sorry I didn't deal with that mountain bastard earlier.

But do I regret saving him? Of course not. I was right back then. It was just an arm I lost. I could have lost Luffy. I could have lost that goofy little kid who worshipped the ground I walked on. That little screwball who stabbed himself because he thought it made him look tough. That little moron who cursed himself with that Devil Fruit, so very much like that other little moron Buggy.

I wonder what Buggy's doing right now.

I think the worst part about that day is the dreams I have now. Some are good. In fact, most of them are good. It's the same thing. I see Luffy, dive in the water, shield him from that sea monster, lose my arm. The exact same thing as the actual day, with one difference. There's no pain. I don't feel anything. I look down, it's bleeding. Just like it was before. Luffy's still crying on my shirt, but I don't feel the pain. I look down at him and tell him it's just an arm and he calms down and we make our way back to shore. Then I wake up. Back to reality.

But that one dream. No, that nightmare. I'll never forget it. It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

At first, there's nothing. Just me in a white space, standing. I look down at my hand and to my surprise, I have two. Two arms, two hands, ten fingers. I'm ecstatic. I move my left arm up and down like a child, laughing as though I had just found the thing lying around and thought "What an odd place for my arm to be!"

Then the world fades in. No, wait, that doesn't happen yet. First there are the flashes. I see images, the face of that mountain bandit, Makino, my crew, Buggy, and it ends on Luffy. Each one lasts just a second before the world fades in.

I find myself at a cemetery. No names on any of the tombstones except for one.

Monkey D. Luffy.

I jump back, not believing it. My mind screams "NO! No! Luffy's alive! I saved him! I gave up my-" I look and see my left arm at my side, fully intact. I scream and the world, along with me, fades to black.

That was the only time in my life I woke up screaming like hell.

It was the only time that I had to look down at the stump of my arm to reassure myself Luffy was alive.

That's what this arm represents for me. It's proof that no matter what my dreams tell me, or what people tell me I should have done, I still saved Luffy. I saved him, and because I saved him, he's going to make some pirate crew very lucky.

I wonder what Luffy's crew is like. Yasopp always yammered on and on about his boy Usopp. I wonder if they're partners now. I bet they are, it would make sense. I wonder if Luffy has enough of a reputation to attract that Roronoa Zoro. And if they did meet, I wonder what their fight was like. I bet Luffy came out on top.

And if they did meet, that must mean he's gained more of a rep than I have. Good work, kid.

So, do I regret making my decision? No. Y'see, the way I picture it, there were only two possible outcomes on that day.

The first, I save Luffy and lose my arm in the process.

The second, I miss Luffy. I pass by him and he pays for my stupid mistake.

That's it. There's no middle ground. It would have been impossible to avoid losing my arm. I couldn't swim fast enough to grab Luffy and avoid that sea monster's bite.

Even if I could, I'd probably end up dead anyway. I'd like to believe that because I didn't show any pain or fear as I looked that beast in the eye, he thought of me as some kind of invincible superhuman who didn't even care that he lost his arm and swam off before I took my revenge.

If I avoided getting my arm bitten off, that thing would have swallowed us both the second time he opened his mouth.

I hope that kid remembers his promise. I hope he remembers that he's going to become king of the pirates. That was his gift to me. His way of saying "Thank you, Shanks. Thank you for teaching me that pirates don't have to be the cutthroat, bloodthirsty beasts everyone makes them out to be."

I don't know why he'd settle for king of the pirates. He's got so much more potential than that. He could unite the world if he really wanted to. I hope he hasn't forgotten.

I hope he'll give me that hat back. I really liked it.


End file.
